The quiz
Pick the answer closest to what usually happens, not what you wish happened. Nothing is stored or sent anywhere.
1. After you've both agreed on something, you usually feel:
2. When you disagree, who usually changes position?
3. Saying what you want is:
4. Your own plans, friends and interests:
5. When you raise a problem calmly, he:
6. You tell yourself 'it'll be better once...' (we move, the kids are older, we're married):
7. At the end of most weeks, you feel:
Every long relationship involves give and take. You go to his work party; he comes to your sister's barbecue. You agree on a holiday neither of you would have chosen alone. That kind of compromise usually leaves both people feeling heard.
Constant giving in feels different. It's when you keep adjusting and the other person doesn't, when "keeping the peace" means keeping quiet, and when you feel more tired after each agreement rather than closer. A new house, a wedding or a fresh start doesn't change that pattern on its own. This quiz helps you see which one you're living with, without judging anyone.
What tends to help
Gottman Institute research describes criticism, contempt, defensiveness and stonewalling as patterns that make conflict harder to resolve. If you recognise those in how disagreements go, naming the pattern ("we seem to stop talking when this comes up") is often a more useful start than arguing about the issue itself.
Small steps count: one evening a week that's yours, one friend you see again, one decision where you say what you want first.
Want a wider view? The free 7-question relationship clarity quiz takes about three minutes and looks at the relationship as a whole, not one habit. Nothing is stored or sent anywhere.
The 7-Day Relationship Clarity Workbook
What's inside: A printable 7-day workbook plus a 30-day interactive tracker, to write down what is said, what happens and what keeps repeating.
Who it's for: For women who want a quiet, structured week to look at a relationship pattern on paper.
Self-reflection only, not counselling, medical or legal advice. Digital download via Gumroad checkout.
Questions people ask
Isn't sacrifice part of love?
Sometimes, for a season: a new baby, an illness, a parent who needs care. What the quiz looks at is whether it goes both ways over time.
What if I'm the one who doesn't compromise?
Answer honestly and see what comes out. The same questions work from either side.
Will this tell me whether to stay?
No. It can't, and it doesn't try to. It helps you name what's happening so you can decide what you want.
Sources
Keep going
Before you reply
A step-by-step planner for responding steadily, not in the heat of the moment.
Keep your own financial footing
A practical checklist for knowing what's in your name and what you can reach.
Who Keeps the List?
Mark who handles 30 everyday household jobs and see the real split in numbers.