What he said. What he did. Thirty days, side by side.

Most of us don't need a lecture about actions mattering more than words. We know. The hard part is seeing clearly when you are inside it: one thoughtful weekend can wipe out a month of cancelled plans in your memory, and one bad week can make a decent year feel like nothing.

This tracker does one plain thing. When something is said ("I'll call the plumber", "Let's go away in March", "I'll talk to my mum about Christmas"), you write it down. When it's due, you mark what happened. After 30 days you have a record that doesn't depend on your mood that evening.

It works the same for a husband, a boyfriend of six months, or anyone else whose words you'd like to be able to rely on. It is not about catching anyone out. Often the log shows that someone is far more reliable than it felt, and that's worth knowing too.

How to keep the log fair

• Log the ordinary things, not only the big ones. "I'll pick up the dry cleaning" tells you as much as "We'll look at houses next year".
• Write it the way it was said. If no date was given, leave the date blank and check it after a reasonable time.
• "Changed, and he explained" counts as follow-through. Plans change. What matters is whether you were told, rather than left to notice.
• Log your own promises too, if you like. It makes the record more honest, and it makes it easier to share.

What to do with the pattern

A log is a starting point for a conversation, not a verdict. If you decide to talk about it, pick one category where the gap is clearest, use two or three real examples, and ask what would make it easier for things to happen as agreed. "When the plan is money-related it often doesn't happen. What's going on there?" lands very differently from a list of failures.

If the gap is large and talking hasn't changed it, the record is still useful: it helps you think about what you want, with facts in front of you.

Want a wider view? The free 7-question relationship clarity quiz takes about three minutes and looks at the relationship as a whole, not one habit. Nothing is stored or sent anywhere.